After three weeks of almost daily meditation sessions, my mind still regularly runs away on its own tangents. I thought having a mantra might help keep my focus. I tried the traditional Hindu sacred syllable, “Om”, but it doesn’t hold spiritual magic for me and I just felt silly saying it (even in my head). I then decided to come up with a few words, meaningful to me, that I could repeat. Doing this on the fly during my meditation session (my mind running wild again), I came up with health (I’d been sick for three weeks at that point), joy (something I strive to recognize daily), love (no explanation needed), and creativity (a long-standing goal, a “someday” I see manifesting in different possibilities: writing, card making, sewing, maybe even painting).
I like these four words as a mantra and it did immediately help my concentration when I focused on saying one with each breath. However, I found myself playing games in my brain. I’d say a word with each breath, then I’d say a word breathing in and another breathing out. I found myself trying to make the words come out in a continual loop, rather than starting with health and proceeding, in order, with the others. I tried starting with a word other than health and looping on from there. Each of these thoughts led me off on another tangent of thought that wasn’t focused on breathing and mindfulness.
Maybe mindfulness meditation isn’t right for me or maybe it’s not the right beginning point for me. I’ve decided I need to research the types of meditation. I focused on mindfulness because that’s what first comes to mind when I think of meditation, but I know there are many other types. I like the idea of lifelong learning, so…here we go again. I’m not giving up, just learning and modifying. Maybe my mantra should be “Never give up, never give up, never give up…”