Voice of Fear

Recap:

Month One’s goal was to write and publish a book in 30 days.  Failed to finish, but still working on the book.  It’s only a fail in terms of the timeframe.

Month Two’s goal is to develop a meditation practice.  I am meditating every morning, but don’t seem to be getting any better at keeping my mind reigned in.

Month Three’s goal (next month) is to set off on a challenge to walk or run 1200 exercise miles in 2016.  Thoughts on that?  Total fear!

I’ve been sick for two weeks and other than a short one-mile walk with the dogs a week ago, I haven’t exercised at all.  As the days pile up and I struggle to get through the basics of what has to be done each day, I’m beginning to feel a little panicky about the idea of trying to maintain an average four-mile/day, six days/week schedule starting January 1st.  I wrote about “resistance” early on and I now know to identify this type of fear as simply resistance, but I must admit to feeling discouraged about the amount of fear I’m able to generate.  I wake up in the morning with my head and chest congested, my body aching, and I think, What if I get sick after January 1st?  How would I maintain my running/walking schedule?  Two weeks of missed workouts is 48 missed miles!

Part of challenging myself to “366 Somedays” is the exploration of why we put off so many goals and desires to “someday”.  There’s the excuses of lack of time, limited resources, other commitments, but I have realized perhaps the biggest reason, excuse, rationalization, whatever you want to call it, is FEAR.  Fear of failing.  Fear of embarrassment.  Fear of “what if?”  FEAR.  I’ve also realized most of my FEAR comes from inside my head.  I’m beginning to think perhaps the most substantial growth I’ll experience this year is learning to quiet the Voice of Fear inside my head.  My goal can be summed up in a quote from Yanni:  I don’t have a You Can’t Do This voice in my head.

2 thoughts on “Voice of Fear

  1. Does all of your exercise have to be intentional? What I mean is can all the walking you do around the house, going shopping, and doing errands count? A friend of mine got a Fitbit that counts her footsteps daily and she was able to put in easily 5 miles daily. Just an idea if that would count? Also I’m thinking if you do get sick and didn’t put in your mileage for the week. So what? Even if you didn’t accomplish 1200 miles a year but only ended up with 1000 miles. That is still an accomplishment because if you had never set the goal of 1200 miles, you probably wouldn’t even get close to 1000 miles a year. Make sense? I’m thinking of setting up goals for 2016 but am dealing with the voice of resistance too myself.

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    1. Thanks for your comments, Gloria. I really appreciate hearing from people. The 1200 mile challenge specifically limits the mileage to workout mileage. And, yes, if I don’t make it, it won’t be the end of the world, but I would like to be make the goal and be able to say I did it. Though I’m quite sure I wouldn’t sign up for another year 🙂

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